Crew Notes Archive

Character Journals

Personal logs, delivery notes, survival warnings, music diaries, cleaning reports and official Eric Strudelhofen regulations from across the Space 2047 universe.

Cargo Manifest

Cedric's Cargo Reports

The cargo bay is not haunted. It is administratively unsettled.

Crate Incident

A box marked Fragile bit the forklift. Forklift expected to recover emotionally.

Inventory Note

Found one moon, two spoons and a small legal department behind the emergency biscuits.

Missing Parcel

Parcel 9B walked away. It left a forwarding address and a rude drawing.

Survival Report

Karen's Survival Log

I have survived three alien invasions and one of Gerald’s rehearsals. I fear nothing except paperwork.

Nouala Warning

Eric Strudelhofen has made breathing paperwork-adjacent. Avoid official buildings.

Crew Safety

Gerald tried to tune his guitar using the engine. The engine now plays jazz.

Personal Note

If the galaxy ends, I would like it recorded that I warned everyone first.

Royal Broadcast

Salomina's Royal Broadcasts

The galaxy would be easier to manage if everyone listened to me immediately and without snacks.

Diplomatic Note

Eric Strudelhofen attempted to bow to himself in a mirror. Talks remain difficult.

Broadcast One

Citizens of space, please stop naming moons after lunch items.

Royal Advisory

Never accept a crown from a planet that also offers you a receipt.

Delivery Log

Brian's Delivery Notes

Never trust a package that looks smug.

Delivery 2047-A

Delivered three crates of Space Cheese to Nouala. Eric immediately declared cheese a taxable emotion.

Emergency Route Change

Took a shortcut through a wormhole and arrived before I had left. I still billed overtime.

Suspicious Parcel

Parcel asked to speak to my manager. I promoted Cedric temporarily and hid behind the cargo bay.

Galactic Advice Column

Susan: Best Kisser in the Universe

Romance in space requires confidence, oxygen and a reliable escape pod.

Reputation Report

Three planets have requested diplomatic training after Susan winked at their ambassadors.

Advice Transmission

Never kiss an alien until you know where its mouth officially begins.

Cosmic Etiquette

If someone calls themselves irresistible, check for hidden tentacles and unpaid parking fines.

Music Diary

Gerald's Music Diary

Every galaxy has a key. Unfortunately, mine is slightly out of tune.

Studio Session

Recorded a song with the engine room. The chorus exploded beautifully.

Creative Breakthrough

Invented a new genre called panic funk. Karen says it already existed whenever I enter a room.

Guitar Signal

My guitar picked up a distress call from a sandwich.

Alien Incident File

Flesh Eating Aliens from MAAM

If a MAAM alien says dinner is served, clarify whether you are dinner.

Brian Report

Brian survived MAAM territory by pretending his moustache was an endangered species.

Canteen Report

Space Cheese distracts MAAM aliens for exactly nine seconds. Use those seconds wisely.

First Contact

The MAAM delegation greeted the crew warmly, then tried to season Cedric.

Official Regulation

Eric Strudelhofen's Regulations

A regulation a day keeps democracy confused.

Palace Memo

Anyone taller than Eric must crouch during official photographs.

Nouala Directive

Citizens must salute small sandwiches because greatness often arrives in compact form.

Emergency Strudel Decree

Any suspicious pastry is property of the state until I have finished eating it.

Maintenance Report

Gertrude's Cleaning Reports

I do not chase dirt. Dirt flees me.

Tea Cup Emergency

Sixteen teacups entered low orbit. Recovery net deployed.

Underpants Event

Robot underpants discovered in vent shaft. Sanitisation ongoing.

Cargo Bay Cleaning

Space Cheese residue resisted standard mop. Upgraded to heroic mop.