Dorothy parker parks her intergalactic bicycle,


on christmas day,

because she oversleeps,

and is rather tired,

but she is happy to have company,

because Father Christma, her part time boyfriend has has come to stay,

and he is nice but always very demanding,

and he never lets her get a word in edgeways,

and the only words he usually says,

are i could with do another whole christmas turkey,

and a pint of sherry,

because yesterday was one hell of day,

so off Dorothy Parker goes to the local shop she knows,

and she buys more supplies,

because Father Chistmas is a friendly sort,

and he bring her lots of presents,

and he makes her laugh,

even when she is in the bath,

he laughs his hearty laugh and puts a smile on her face,

and when Dorothy is alone,

Father christmas talks to his reindeer over the mobile phone,

when they are out partying at the disco to which they go,

and after the disco the reindeer afterwards come around,

and they are happy and well fed,

and very happy to rest,

and it is very nice to see them all at Christmas time and to have them come to stay,

despite Father Christmas constantly asking for extra measures,

and him cheating at monopoly which they play,

and at least fifty times on christmas day,

Dorothy Parker parks her bicycle,

more and more drunkenly,

and even more sideways,

and she stocks up on snacks and supplies,

more often than she would like,

because Father Christmas’s belly is not as big as his eyes,

and when she returns,

he kisses her under the mistle toe,

and says darling,

don’t worry about the expense,

the reindeer have got part time jobs,

and I am retiring soon,

as I resold a part of the moon,

so don’t worry your pretty little head,

now how about some mince pies,

because we haven’t had them for several minutes,

and at Christmas it is good to be happy and jolly and well fed,

and she smiles and says,

well yes,

my darling,

after the mince pies, we have a christmas pudding filled with brussel sprouts to eat next,

and it helps keep the cost of heating down no less.