I am currently reporting from the Noualan supermarket, Eric Strudelhofen Edible selection. The supermarket is extremely busy as I write and today, a robot is pick pocketing anyone who is a visitor to the planet. The robot’s name is Bert and has a penchant for peoples belongings. Bert has been spotted stuffing biscuits into his trousers after inflating them. Bert has a toupee and laughs maniacally whenever he steals anyones belongings, and then pretends to eat some of them. Bert has a rather large nose, and likes to fill it with cheese, and play loud music and bang his head rapidly in time with it.
Beware of Bert, he likes to teleport himself into peoples clothes and join them in a surprise effort to use their credit card.
Bert stole my trouser legs today, and my girlfriend left me rather rapidly and unfortunately divorced me. So if you are in a romantic relationship, please avoid Bert at all costs, and wear spandex which is much harder to remove.